I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just gargled with NyQuil
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
