any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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