the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
