I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He has the fingertips of a God
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