I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
