you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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