I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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