Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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