I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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