I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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