I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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