whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
