butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
