He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize