im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
