i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
