I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
