I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
