When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
