I'm going to jail i love you
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
