Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
