Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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