Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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