Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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