dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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