wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
