I can't breathe out the right side of my face
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
soo... how was my night?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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