he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
