You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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