Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
