My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we made out on top of his cat.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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