Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
