big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
