please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
