The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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