Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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