Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
