Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize