Your dad touched me again.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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