Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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