Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
