well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
