ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
