I just cut my nipple shaving
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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