Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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