it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
