A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize