i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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