We won't sleep together?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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