where am i from again
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize