about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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