Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
