I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
