Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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