just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
