well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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