Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
