There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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