perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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