Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
