I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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