I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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