Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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