He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
