Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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