theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i've created a new STD.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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