And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
