Your face is a jimmy john
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
