I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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