oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
