I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
