The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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