Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
