There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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