I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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