Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
