Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
